"Hi, my is KAK. I'm a compulsive liar who spends extraordinary amounts of time on the computer, gets off on putting men and women in extremely uncomfortable and frequently life-threatening positions, and am prone to epic irrational rantings of 100,000 words while staring off into space.Care to inflict me on the world?"
I've done this before. Experience doesn't make it any easier. I'm spit-shining my
It is possible the person on the other side of the table will have a score sheet on which a notation of "bat-nuts-crazy" is made beside my name as my left hand twitches and slobber dribbles an endless trail over my chin pushed out by my indecipherable grunting. More likely is that I'll timorously slide my business card across an overly starched commercial cloth where it will disappear into the stacks of other cards belonging to nervous, sweaty, stuttering suitors. At best, I can hope to walk away with permission to send a note.
"Hello Gorgeous, we met briefly at the speed dating thing in June. You mentioned you might want to get to know me better. Here's your chance. I'll try not to wait by the phone, thinking every ring is you offering a bright future filled with mayhem and pestilence.
The next move is up to you."
There will be scads of others hoping to accomplish the same thing. Some will excel at the art of
I will most likely be found in the latter group, gargling with brandy. Feel free to join me.