Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Demise of the Fire Dragon

In the nippy days of early October, it was time to fire up the oil furnace -- or, as I affectionately call it, the fire dragon. The dragon did not wish to wake from its summer slumber. I called the dragon tenders, they dispatched the dragon-bugler. Alas, my fire dragon would only wake to the sound of a specific trumpet and it would take two weeks to fetch it from foreign lands.

Fortunately, Mother Nature wasn't so certain she wanted summer to be over. The temperatures remained mild. I was content to allow the dragon to slumber a bit longer.

At last, the noble dragon-bugler returned with the exotic bugle and proceeded to play to the fire dragon. The dragon snorted black soot, but it did not awaken. The bugler was perplexed. He conducted a thorough investigation of the dragon's neck and head. When was the last time I'd fed it, he asked. I'd topped off its tummy, well, just before I'd tried to wake it. He became more bemused. He needed to check the dragon's belly.

Oh, but this dragon had been one with the earth for sixty years. How ever would the dragon-bugler check its belly? It would be a minor surgery to the dragon's esophagus.

Sadly, the worst of news. The dragon had been mortally wounded. It's belly had been punctured numerous times.

The fire dragon was dead.

I reeled back in horror. This dragon had been a part of the family for longer than I'd been alive. What would I do? How should I perform its final rites? The dragon-bugler gave me all the sympathy in the world. He could bring me a new fire dragon, but the fire dragons had broken a covenant with the earth. They could no longer rest within it. A new dragon would have to be chained in the yard.

I knew very little about dragons, but I knew enough to know that dragons did not like to be visible to all and sundry. They preferred their peace and quiet, to age with grace in private.

No, for all the love the fire dragon had granted my family over the decades, I could not, would not, inflict humiliation upon its kith or kin. So I went in search of a new dragon, a dragon who would be welcomed by the earth, a dragon who would give me warmth while I gave it privacy.

For weeks I searched and searched, and lo, I found such a dragon. It offered me warmth in the winter and coolness in the summer. I asked how it could be possible for a dragon to keep me cool.

Water dragons are capable of many great things.

Weeks have passed while new covenants have been drafted and tithes paid. I anxiously await the arrival of the water dragon.

The dragon-tenders called. Tomorrow the water dragon comes.

Photo of fire dragon from:

Photo of water dragon from:


  1. Very amusing! I'll be interested to hear how you like the geothermal heat. Your water dragon is very green, too.

  2. The tricky part seems to be getting the wells dug. That's been the bit that sets the schedule of the install. Big. Fuckin'. Rig.

    Can't wait to see it in action tomorrow.