Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Not Too Smart -- SPAM Subject Line

For shits and giggles, I occasionally check the subject lines in my Spam folder. Today was such a day. Perhaps it was because my favorite skirt was a bit snug this morning, but this jumped out at me:

"I gained 3 inches and you can too."

No. No, I don't want to gain three inches. I am part of the feminine population who trends toward acquiring too much mass. An additional three inches anywhere on my person would require me to commence jiggle tests--those horrifying reviews of cheery chins, bat wings, banana folds, thunder thighs, and muffin tops. I am peeved enough by the slow encroachment of an inch-ish. I simply don't have time or sanity to cope with three inches.

So,, I slap you with #spamfail and banish you from my mailbox forthwith.

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