Not Too Smart -- SPAM Subject Line

For shits and giggles, I occasionally check the subject lines in my Spam folder. Today was such a day. Perhaps it was because my favorite skirt was a bit snug this morning, but this jumped out at me:

"I gained 3 inches and you can too."

No. No, I don't want to gain three inches. I am part of the feminine population who trends toward acquiring too much mass. An additional three inches anywhere on my person would require me to commence jiggle tests--those horrifying reviews of cheery chins, bat wings, banana folds, thunder thighs, and muffin tops. I am peeved enough by the slow encroachment of an inch-ish. I simply don't have time or sanity to cope with three inches.

So, MonsterWood@imadumbfuck.com, I slap you with #spamfail and banish you from my mailbox forthwith.

Countdown to RWA Nationals -- 25 Days

Tick. Tock. Dick. Cock.

It is less than a month until the annual Romance Writers of America conference. This year it takes place in my old stomping grounds of the District (that's Washington D.C. for you tourists). It's why I've summoned the gumption, the fundage, and the beast-sitters to tackle my first "Nationals" experience. Do I have any idea into what I am getting?

I have a clue, but it's like those Opportunity cards in Careers. Due to my experience as a fledgling un-pub, I have the opportunity to attend. May save or sell. If I'm lucky, I'll garner five Hearts and two Fames by the time I roll out.

Really, I'll be happy not to faint during my Agent Pitch session (damn panic attacks).

There is preparation a-happening. Clues are being collected and filed away. Local Chapter meetings, Online Special-Interest Group meetings, and the sporadic online class have all provided the fairly logical everyone-knows-it-so-why-do-they-forget-it key piece of advice:

RWA Nationals is a business conference. Comport yourselves accordingly.

Over the next four weeks I'll offer my pithy opinions on "business-appropriate" behavior and its war against the individual feral need to be published. Once the conference kicks off, I'll update you with the casualties of intentions and careers.

This year promises to be...uhm...entertaining as the E-Pubs fight for recognition as legitimate authors and publishers. The loops are aflame, the panties are bunched, the Valkyrian war cries are trilling.

Stay tuned...